The Fabulous Life of Stefanie

Happy Friday before another sunny weekend! Had to say that because my last Currently post was all about longing for summer, the Cape and bike rides to the beach and that is exactly what we have been doing each and every weekend. Awful winters mean making the most out of beautiful summers, after all. Just a light post after my not so light pos t to head into the weekend. We are heading down to the RiverFest near our house tomorrow to enjoy the outdoors and hopefully put our canoe in the water and then Sunday will be all about the beach. Hope your outlook is just as bright! Reading I am almost done with Manhattan Beach , which I picked up after reading an excerpt in Vogue. It started off great - very old New York mafia noir, with a woman at the center of it all (and writing it) but the end has me a little less excited. I'll see how the author wraps it up before a final judgement, but definitely recommend either way! I have I'll Be Gone in the Dark waiting for me in my pile

Within the span of a few days, two people lost their lives to mental health in a very public way, and I wanted to come here and try and put down the feelings that I have had now that the posts and hashtags and call for more resources have faded into the other background noise of everything that seems to be wrong in our world right now. The feeling of being triggered comes to mind, except that, despite my lifetime of living with an anxiety disorder, I have never once felt the pain of wanting to end my own life. I have been sad and frustrated that I have anxiety; let down in situations and even overwhelmed as a child who experienced trauma and more recently as a young mother trying to figure out my first days with baby but never, ever to the point of suicide. I am lucky, I guess, but that seems like a terrible word in the shadow of this monster. I was gifted my first Kate Spade by my ever fashionable AIL and have since added as many of her bags, pieces of jewelry and whatever else I c