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On Self Care

Self care has become a sort of battle cry of this generation, a reminder that we have to take care of ourselves in the midst of it all lest we collapse in a ball of exhaustion. We are a busy  people living in a busy world. We work, we parent, we volunteer, we engage our community, we social media and on and on and on.  We also very oftentimes forget to take care of ourselves, and thus this idea of self care as a way to keep ourselves able to fulfill all those other roles. As an on-paper sociologist (read: my degrees in psych and criminal justice and also my total nosy-nelly status) I am interested to know ways that we take keep ourselves from burning out, so I thought I could share some of my own methods because maybe they will spark ideas in your brain as others have in mine.

I have to add that my dear husband is in Ireland this week on business, the first time he has ever gone out of state (or country) without us and the first time I have been home alone with the pack (two kids, one dog, and a live-bug eating gecko). So, in my own self care move, I enlisted an army of helpers to keep things operating as the well oiled (albeit loud and on all cylinders 25 hours a day) machine. Which I guess leads me to my first method of self care...

ASKING FOR HELP
With very little family around us (read: one member) and a strong streak of independence, asking for help can be difficult. I hate to be a burden or have to face the idea that I cannot do it all myself which, plain and simple, I can't. I do a lot, which is completely intentional because it is one of the aspects of my life that brings me joy. I love my career, my running club, helping at Maddie's school and dance recitals and soccer games, spending quality time with my friends, going to the gym, saying YES whenever anyone asks for a favor. So, I have become more comfortable with asking for help. Whether it is getting career advice from a friend whose trajectory I admire, or getting a couple of hours of help with the girls so Matt and I can meet our volunteer commitments, I ask and I never hear a no because I am surrounded by the best people on earth. Again, an intentional move on my part (cheers, village).

SLEEP
At least three days a week I am up before 5am to get runs in before the girls are awake. Sometimes I stay up too late because I still have a crush on my husband and like to hang out and critique everyone on HGTV. I am on the go pretty much most the day, and almost always use my preferred transportation method of walking, answering emails and listening to podcasts because multi-tasking is my middle name. But, I love sleep. Like A LOT. So, I get it when I can. I try for at least 7 hours a night, but it is usually less than that, so when there is a block of time that I can lay down with the littlest and take a nap with her, I am all over it. This week while I am solo we are back to our pre-summer vacation routine of early bedtimes for the girls so that I can crawl under the covers right after. Yes, we can sleep when we are dead, but we can also sleep at 1pm on a Saturday afternoon sometimes.

KEEPING A SCHEDULE
The joy of being in my thirties is knowing myself better than ever, and I know that I thrive on being organized, especially when it comes to my time. My work calendar is meticulous and color coded, including time most every day to hit the gym at lunch. My marathon training plans are made up as soon as I hit "register". My iCal has the whole family's events (color coded, again) weeks in advance. To some this is exhausting, to me it keeps me sane and stress-free because I know exactly what is coming down the line and where we can fit in those important spontaneous activities like naps.

RANDOM ACTS OF (SELF) KINDNESS
It's the little things that count, and sometimes I find that is the easiest way to lift my mood or slow myself down is to do something small and kind to myself. We are on a super-budget to meet some big goals that we have, so it no longer comes in the form of a Starbucks or a trip to Sephora, but instead on little things like a walk around the block in the evening with the dog, or avocado toast and NPR for a weekday breakfast, even a pause at my desk to use the breathing app on my Apple Watch. All seemingly small things that can re-energize me to keep plugging away at this busy life.

Of course there are also the regular parts of my life that are a big part of keeping me happy - attending to my anxiety when it needs it, snuggling my girls at least three times a day, telling my husband I love him and trying to make him laugh a million times a day, Sunday mass and trying to practice kindness and compassion with those around me. I guess my version of self care also means caring for those around me, because the flower cannot blossom if it is surrounded by weeds...or something philosophical :)

Be gentle to yourself, all.


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