A Month of Thanks, Day Twenty-Five

My anxiety monster has been a little ferocious lately; Saturday I actually cut my run short and called Matty to have him pick me up because I was feeling so out of sorts: sore and anxious and just not good. I got in a little over four miles, but I have never asked him to come get me, even when I was doing double digit runs while marathon training, so we both knew that something had to be up. I can go out on a bad day and pump out 6 or 7 miles, but I really just could not do it that morning. I got home and took a really long, hot shower and felt a little better so we went out and ran some errands and went to the vigil mass to clear up our Sunday morning for other plans. After we had dinner and were relaxing, I realized that I had a lot of factors against me: my run miles were short last week, it was all the sudden super cold, Maddie had not been sleeping well and I had not been to yoga in weeeeks.

And there it was, the obvious thing that I needed, yoga! I have been practicing since I was sixteen but I really became dedicated when I was working in the prison and had a long commute to and from work after doing really intense therapy all day. Matty and I had recently started dating and he worked a lot of nights so I would go to yoga when he was at work. It was a great way for me to process the heavy stuff that I was dealing with in my job and be able to relax and keep my anxiety in check. When I was pregnant I kept up some prenatal yoga, though I definitely wished I had done more and after I had Maddie I tried to make a regular routine of going to classes twice a week. Once we decided to cancel our Y membership I went down to once a week and now even that has been hard to maintain. Wanting to spend time with my MJs, exhaustion, Matty needing to finish homework, there are a slew of excuses that I make, but I know that I need to make it a priority in order to keep my body and my mind happy. I wish that I could practice at home, and I know that I should, but I really need to class and the guidance of the teacher so I can just flow through poses and not have to think about it. Maybe someday I will be able to practice at home, and I would love any tips on how people make that a part of their daily routine.

So Saturday night I looked up a studio that is close to our house and have never been to and decided to sign up for their $25 new student offer where I can go to as many classes as I want over the next two weeks. I figured that this would be like a little yoga boot camp for me to get me back into my practice, and with five and a half days off from work coming up, I can definitely make the classes and not feel bad about losing out on time with Maddie since I will be with her all those days.

Yesterday afternoon I went to a class at  four o'clock, which  has a kid's class for four and up that you can leave your kids at while you do yoga in the other studio, something that is very appealing for down the road. The class was heated, which is not something I am a huge fan of, but it felt good to sweat and stretch and be on my mat. It also didn't hurt that there were a lot of beginners in the class so I seemed like a super yogi. The class was basic and only an hour and just what I needed. I got home and felt more calm and energized than I had all weekend and proceeded to make an awesome dinner of chicken tikka masala tacos. Seriously, so good.

I woke up this morning pretty sore and still feeling some of the tired and anxious feelings that I have been having but I am going to go again tonight and get up for my usual run tomorrow morning, hopeful that I can get back on track and put my anxiety monster into hibernation for the holiday season. So today I am thankful for yoga; for all it has done for me and all I am counting on it to do.

Until then, namaste!